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“hold off, So is this a romantic date?” Podcast Episode 102: The Chart | Autostraddle

This week on “hold off, Is This a Date?” we are accompanied by Autostraddle Chief Executive Officer and

L Keyword

expert
Riese Bernard
to go over: The Chart. Yes it’s true! This event is all about lesbian interconnectivity — connecting with pals’ exes, buddies connecting with your exes, while the society developed by all that drama.

Appear for any news, remain the emotional control. And before that enjoy a game that examinations Christina’s borders: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she generally would not.)

Many thanks for all the good feedback after our very own premier! For those who haven’t yet consider giving us a rating or test!


PROGRAM NOTES

+ Five years ago Riese put together an
Old Hollywood information
that’s the intersection of all my interests.

+ Here Is
the article
I reference in which We mention starting up with my roommates.

+ My crush for the few days Mj Rodriguez revealed a songs movie on her behalf song
“Something to Say”
!

+ As anyone who has merely observed a small number of symptoms of

The Nanny

this montage
of Christina’s crush associated with the few days C.C. Babcock ended up being surprising if you ask me with regards to turned-out she and Niles commonly both homosexual. (Christina tells me they basically nevertheless tend to be.)



Drew:

I might be very fine along with it existing. I’d never ever add some other person without their own permission. Nevertheless concept of each and every time some one was actually like, “make sure you are attached to me personally,” I would wind up as, “Yeah, oahu is the life I stayed. I do not mind.” Is unusual? Would be that a challenge?


Christina:

No, because if I found myselfn’t, I would personally feel poor not being. I would resemble, “Wait, I am not sleeping?”


Theme song plays


Drew:

Hi, I’m Drew.


Christina:

Hi, I’m Christina.


Drew:

And this is

Hold Off, So Is This A Night Out Together?


Christina:


Hold Off, Is This A Night Out Together?

is an Autostraddle podcast asking the major concerns. First of all, can it be a date? What are dates? That happen to be times? Do we like dates? These represent the particular questions that we answer on this subject here very pro and lovely podcast.


Drew:

My name is Drew Gregory. I’m an author at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, notoriously, a trans lesbian.


Christina:

My name is Christina Tucker. I’m in addition a writer at Autostraddle. I will be a loud queer on the net. I’m improving at describing myself personally as a writer and, famously, a lesbian. That is all of us. Which is just who we are.


Drew:

Yeah. So the main topic recently will be the Chart.


Christina:

I recently thought it needed a sting. I’m not sure. That believed actually remarkable, but I think it needed it.


Drew:

Yes. No, please, kindly, please. Thank you, thank you so much. No, no, no. The suitable quantity of crisis.


Christina:

Thank you so much.


Drew:

Yeah. So we’re talking about lesbian interconnectivity.


Christina:

I love that term as it appears like you ought to resume the lesbians. It sounds just like the connection to the internet isn’t really working.


Drew:

Yes. it is extremely advanced, extremely innovative, and ‘s been around since there has been lesbians, i do believe.


Christina:

Yeah. In my opinion students would state whenever they found the very first lesbian fossils, they found an information alongside of them carved in to the sand. And I also believe’s exactly what that movie is about, correct? It’s about the information? That motion picture with Kate Winslet and the sand fossils?


Drew:


Ammonite?


Christina:

Yeah, that is what it is more about.


Drew:

If only

Ammonite

involved cave ladies. I would enjoy that lesbian flick.


Christina:

Well, when I have not seen it, i will courageously point out that it absolutely was. Cool.


Drew:

Yeah. Because it’s like we have many lesbian period pieces, but we’ve never gone back that much. And I think it’s the perfect time we perform.


Christina:

Let us merely hold having it further back in its history.


Drew:

Before we have to our primary topic, you are nonetheless learning united states. And I also believed it would be enjoyable to relax and play a game title where you dudes could actually analyze Christina. So our very own icebreaker with this week is actually a tiny bit video game that we name “Would U-Haul.”


Christina:

I am, once more, thus stressed about that. This may you should be the way i-come to the video game. This might be my personal video game mentality, just a little high key, somewhat stressed. That is fine. All of us are reading.


Drew:

I think which is fantastic. I do believe that will turn you into more susceptible, perhaps.


Christina:

Among my favorite emotions.


Drew:

Simply a terror, merely an intense terror. Therefore, the way that “Would U-Haul” works is i’ll explain a situation. Why don’t we call-it Christina follower fiction. And I also’m planning pause after each little area are love, “Okay, Christina, i am aware which you have never ever lived with someone, do not want to accept somebody. But under these circumstances, would U-Haul?”


Christina:

And that I will often say yes or I’ll state, “I’m all set.”


Drew:

Unless you — well, we’ll see here. But i am excited. I do believe i have maybe damaged the signal.


Christina:

You’ve damaged the rule? I am thrilled.


Drew:

Why don’t we observe long this takes. And in case there is a constant would, In my opinion you win? I don’t know exactly how you’ll find champions here.


Christina:

I don’t know that there are champions inside the online game of U-Hauling.


Drew:

Really, I’m not sure if you’ll agree with that after this. And so I’m getting going.


Christina:

Reasonable enough.


Drew:

Okay. Thus, Christina.


Christina:

Drew.


Drew:

You are at the friend’s wedding. Despite the great number of romcoms you have consumed, you probably did perhaps not choose this wedding considering you would satisfy anyone because, really, this isn’t a romcom. This is actually the actual and normal lifetime of Christina Grace Tucker. You take the designated seat and they are glancing at the cellphone once you realize a woman at your table wants at you. She introduces herself as your pal’s former baby sitter. She actually is stayed a friend from the family, but she does not actually know anyone there. She appears like mid-forties features a striking angular face. You begin talking. She proposes to get you a drink. And when she compares, you understand she actually is six legs large, 6′ 3″ in heels. So you know what? I’m only going to stop there and stay like, at this stage, would U-Haul?


Christina:

I’m captivated. I am captivated because I might get laid at this wedding. But so far I am not U-Hauling anywhere.


Drew:

Cool. That’s totally reasonable. Completely reasonable. Okay. So you spend entire wedding observing one another. Absolutely simply a sudden spark and instant biochemistry. And indeed, you are doing connect therefore the gender is remarkable.


Christina:

Tight.


Drew:

And therefore this wedding was a student in Northern California. Which means you both increase your own stays for a few times to fuck and explore and eat at restaurants and screw. Therefore provide to split the expense of the now shared space, but she laughs you down and is similar, “certainly maybe not, honey.” So that the subsequent three days tend to be miraculous. You are feeling the wall space tumbling down. You are dropping faster than you actually have. Would U-Haul?


Christina:

Very simply for clarity’s sake, i am having difficulty imagining some sort of wherein we got three shock days from strive to spend time with you i really do maybe not understand. That looks bonkers. However if I did, advantageous to myself. But I’m not U-Hauling during this period. It’s going to be a no.


Drew:

Great. Okay. Which is okay. You just found. I have it. I have it. Okay.


Christina:

Thanks a lot a whole lot.


Drew:

So she comes back to ny and you go back to Philadelphia.


Christina:

That is where We stay.


Drew:

And you’re texting on a regular basis. This is where you reside plus its in which this woman lives. And you are texting all the time and you see each other many times a month. She’s really hectic along with her job, but she’s rapid buying you a train admission to help you come see the girl and remain at the woman stunning brownstone in Fort Greene. And then 6 months pass. Plus one evening if you are off to dinner, she asks one move around in along with her. Would U-Haul?


Christina:

And relocate to New York? I do not really love ny. No, I’m not relocating from the six months level. I am not performing that, no.


Drew:

Okay, okay. Entirely, completely, totally. Wow. Okay. Which means you keep internet dating cross country. She realizes that you may need some time and she is happy to loose time waiting for you. Even more months pass. It is now already been over per year. Your own property owner tells you they are attempting to sell your home to a developer that is investing in apartments, so that you cannot renew it. You need to get a hold of a new place. The today girl tells you that no pressure, but her offer nevertheless appears. Would U-Haul?


Christina:

Okay. Now, i might U-Haul for two factors.


Drew:

Yay! Fine. Kindly tell us.


Christina:

Mainly, in some sort of by which my landlord marketed the house to cultivate it, my personal property manager is now my closest friend, making sure that may seem like anything has gone incorrect in our relationship. And that I should just leave Philadelphia anyhow. Of course, if I get to go in using my girl over here, that seems great. Which is good. Completely fine. But yeah, I think I might need an external power like a mean property manager.


Drew:

That’s thus — okay. Used to do believe you’ll must need property to obtain truth be told there, therefore I’m glad We understood that.


Christina:

Yeah. That’s just what actually must happen to me personally 1st.


Drew:

Really, i am grateful to understand what it takes. So in theory, if perhaps you weren’t kicked away, simply how much longer?


Christina:

Genuinely, which could went on for quite some time. Philly and ny commonly actually that not each other. I managed to get space over here. We are moving forward and backward. We are having memories. I possibly could have leave that roll for a long period until I guess Shoshana can become the worst person I know.


Drew:

I didn’t understand that Shoshana owned your property. Well, there you decide to go.


Christina:

There we get. Wow, that has been exciting.


Drew:

Well, many thanks for playing.


Christina:

I’m pressured, is clear.


Drew:

And I’m happy that i understand… perhaps if you are actually, therefore if anybody’s ever dating you and wants one move in, possibly the girl told Shoshana to market the house in the interest of your union.


Christina:

Honestly the quickest method — somebody would have to keep in touch with Shoshana and stay like, “simply kick the girl .” Immediately after which she’d wind up as, “Yeah, certain. Definitely.” That would be how it took place, whether or not she did not promote our home. Someone would just be like, “is it possible to merely stop the girl away very she’s going to simply conquer it and relocate beside me?” And she would state yes. Double she would do that. That is what friendship is actually.


Drew:

Everyone loves that.


Christina:

Yeah, that is truly stunning.


Drew:

Well, personally i think like we discovered a large amount about you.


Christina:

Thank You. I feel like We learned many about my self, also. Danger of homelessness is really the point that keeps me moving in any situation, I guess. Wow.


Drew:

Well, which is fantastic.


Christina:

That was actually exciting. I’m just as happy to move into the main segment because I think writing about lesbian connectivity with this guest, with this unique guest, i do believe it will be incredible, Drew. How could you be feeling?


Drew:

I’m thus excited. It is a professional. And also by that, I mean an

L Keyword

expert, but also a little bit of an expert inside subject at hand.


Christina:

I do believe a couple of things may be true, my friend. In my opinion a couple of things is generally genuine indeed. Will we wish to present our visitor or do we desire our very own visitor to introduce themselves?


Drew:

I might love our guest to introduce by herself.


Christina:

Guest.


Drew:

I am going to say that all of our guest will be the only Riese Bernard.


Christina:

Guest, communicate.


Riese:

Hi, I’m Riese. And is weird to get the visitor!


Christina:

Yeah, it is.


Riese:

I’d never to state such a thing. I didn’t even do it. Used to do state things. I’d to stay here silently.


Christina:

And also you were really daring. And your confronts happened to be valued.


Riese:

Thank-you much.


Christina:

Though this really is obviously a sound average, i’d like our audience to find out that Riese had been making some great impulse confronts during “Would U-Haul.”


Riese:

Absolutely numerous ways becoming heard. You-know-what I mean? That’s what I always state. Im the Chief Executive Officer of Autostraddle.com. And I’m additionally on an undefeated kickball group. And that is me personally. I have your pet dog called Carol. And I also have actually outdated individuals.


Christina:

Congrats on the kickball!


Riese:

Thank you. I’ve been associated with individuals.


Christina:

Great. Adoring that. That is great to carry to the, this right here matchmaking podcast. That’s excellent.

join best gay chat room for free


Riese:

Yeah. I believe that… Could There Be anything else?


Drew:

No, i do believe which is fantastic, Riese.


Christina:

What you may want to discuss.


Riese:

I like raspberries, the fresh fruit raspberries, and swimming pools.


Christina:

As opposed to…


Riese:

You Realize an individual goes like…


Drew:

It’s like when you blow. Yeah.


Christina:

Oh. Those tend to be disgusting, therefore I merely exhausted all of them from my personal brain.


Riese:

Yeah. And that’s all.


Christina:

Great.


Drew:

Really, we immediately thought of you for this topic.


Christina:

That’s true.


Drew:

Because to start with, demonstrably, queer women and non-binary people in lesbian area were like, I am not sure, having sexual intercourse with individuals whom people they know have seen sex with since well before

The L Keyword

was actually ever a set. But i really do feel

The L Keyword

solidified a certain social notion of the data with Alice Pieszecki. Therefore I felt like you would have lots of understanding of this topic.


Riese:

It is real. Two of the people, i wish to state, of

The L Term

had this real chart of them in addition to their buddies these were attracting regarding wall or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, I think, was one of those. She talked to you about it, that they had built this. Because certainly, everyone else for the reason that journalist’s space had banged people inside the blogger — you realize, and also the lengthy internet of these generation of lesbians in l . a .. And they also noticed can these people were like, “Why don’t we place it when you look at the tv series.” And some of them are on the data. Like, some of the people exactly who … like, real people are throughout the information as a tale.


Christina:

That is amazing. That is the manner in which you understand you’ve made it.


Riese:

Actually that adorable?


Christina:

That would be fascinating for my situation.


Riese:

And thus when you haven’t seen

The L Term,

to begin with, congrats. Second of all, it gets the centerpiece of a single of our head fictional character, Alice’s, apartment. She’s almost everything over the woman wall. And it also may be the name of a website that they began known as ourchart.com that flopped. Therefore the concept … and it’s really into the pilot, i believe. Inside 1st occurrence, Alice begins speaing frankly about exactly how everybody’s linked, because everyone’s installed with this specific individual. And I can hook up you, like you’re most likely at the most two degrees from the me personally. Hence had been real. Like, despite Dana, who had not a lot of experience because she was actually a closeted playing tennis member, they nonetheless managed to hook up the lady. And that’s actuality because it’s true.


Christina:

That’s culture. Yeah. That is what culture looks like.


Riese:

That is society. That is queer tradition immediately. And today everyone helps make their charts.


Christina:

Yeah. To ensure would be my personal then question, had been have either people made a chart? Because I do not imagine We have, I am also kind of today thinking like, that was this a year ago resting inside my residence for if I did not make a chart? Like, that which was the purpose of that, truly?


Riese:

I believe I completed it in my own journal, in the same manner like … Because i love, I’m not sure, organizing information, i assume, as a thought physical exercise.


Christina:

Yeah, I think that’s additionally exactly why i’m amazed that You will findn’t accomplished it. I love the thought of categorizing things.


Riese:

Right. Yeah. Since it is interesting. I am not sure the reason why it really is thus interesting, but it’s. It’s interesting is similar, wow, all these people, they may be linked. Its crazy.


Drew:

Regarding tv series, when ourchart.com is conceived, they’ve got a genuine information that folks could add things. And I also feel just like something that you joked about on

To L and Straight Back,

now people say continuously is like, if this existed in a proper means, nobody would put their brands onto it, not one person would feel at ease placing their own labels on it.


Riese:

You might.


Drew:

I would. I’d be extremely okay with it current. I would never ever add some other person without their own authorization. Nevertheless notion of similar, each time somebody had been like, “make sure you are attached to me,” I’d end up like, “Yeah, this is the life I’ve resided. I really don’t worry about.” Is that odd? Usually a challenge?


Christina:

No, as if I wasn’t, I would personally feel poor not being … i might end up like, “hold off, I’m not about it? Like, i am sorry, what?” No, that will really send me into a light ethical panic about who i will be as a person, the things I’m carrying out. Am we interesting? Would people {like

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